I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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