Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
