Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
this hospital has no fireball
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
His nipple licking is glorious
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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