your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i love accidental penises.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I believe in your delicious
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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