It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
