I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
