me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
