I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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