Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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