he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
