do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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