I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
