Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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