Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
