he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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