even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
