You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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