I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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