You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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