i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
