every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
