what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
my liver is dry heaving
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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