your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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