yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
