"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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