you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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