i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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