"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
