but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
this is an emotional support booty call
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
