that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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