I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
