It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
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