my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
