Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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