She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
