He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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