Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize