operation harelip BJ is a go
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
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At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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