Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
