My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
