I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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