Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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