3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
