So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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