seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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