Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
