he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
