I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
