Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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