so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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