Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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