Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
